I have a few elephants in the room; things that some people already knew that were I am struggling with, but they were quite sensitive subject and it wasn’t an easy subject to approach. And it’s not necessarily something I want to talk about. Obviously I am not going into details here…
Some friends/ relatives would ask about them sometimes and my answer as always “oh, there are good days and there are bad days”. Recently I saw a post by another illustrator on instagram called Helenetheillustator (sorry I am not sure how to link her IG from here) , she drew about the elephants in the room. She wrote and drew perfectly :
“Some days the sadness feels heavy
other days it runs away with me there’s no stopping it
On good days I carry it like a purse,
I try my best to ignore it
But it’ always there
Maybe it’s just part of me now
My elephant in the room”
Her words and her illustration (which unfortunately I dont know how to link it here, but you should go and check her out on IG) are so spot on.
And today has been one of those ‘bad days’. I am frustrated and angry, but also feeling helpless My ‘elephant in the room’ is making me feel claustrophobic and wishing that I was somewhere else or somebody else all together, so I can breath better. It’s squashing me and it made me want to run away but what’s the point, it is going to follow wherever I go.
Sometimes when I couldn’t heck it and lose some self-control, I blurt out my frustration. And the worst reaction I had was “ah but at least (insert good thing about the elephant) and that’s something to be grateful for”. And honestly, I know that person meant well but I so wanna punch them in the face and say “Then YOU GO TAKE MY ELEPHANT AND SEE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE!”
Anyway, so that’s that. I don’t know why I am ranting here. Maybe because I have given up talking about it in real life. Also because I really love the illustration and the poem that illustrator did and I wanted to keep it here in my blog so I have a permanent reminder about the good and bad days.
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